Try to brainstorm other ways to interpret the same events (ask a friend to get their feedback and see how they perceive the situation). Are the things you are telling yourself objectively true? Or are they based around negative assumptions?
Once you’ve identified a negative thought, ask yourself if the events that happened justify it. Instead of realizing babies sometimes cry a lot, he blames himself and thinks that he must be doing something wrong and he’s not father material.
A guy has just become a new dad, but one night he can’t stop his baby from crying. When we take stressful situations personally and blame ourselves for things we have little or no control over.A guy plans to work out at the end of the day but is too tired and thinks, “I’m such a weak loser, I’m a total failure”. When we place negative and extreme labels on ourselves and others for things that are small and relatively insignificant.A guy is constantly stressed because he “should be in better shape” and he “should make more money”, for no real reason except this is what he thinks it takes to be a ‘real man’. When we set rigid expectations for ourselves or others, and struggle to be flexible, we get stressed when our expectations aren’t met.A guy gets a work assignment done late, but does really well on a presentation the next day, and thinks to himself, “Shit, I got lucky with the presentation, but I messed up that assignment and my boss isn’t going to let that go.” When we dismiss positive events as flukes and see negative events as ‘the usual’, which causes us to be pessimistic about the future.A guy thinks “I never make new friends when I go out, so what’s the point” and decides to stay home alone instead. When we think in black and white extremes (often using phrases with ‘always’ and ‘never’) with no room for any grey area or middle ground.Some common negative thought patterns are: All-or-Nothing Thinking But once you learn more about these distorted thought patterns, it’s easier to identify them. Noticing negative thought patterns (called cognitive distortions) can be tricky, even impossible – unless you know what to look for. Step 1: Learn more about different negative thought patterns Here are some steps and examples to begin practicing cognitive reframing. But, studies show that those who reframe their stress as a ‘response that helps them rise to challenges’ aren’t as negatively impacted by their stressful circumstances. Tons of people feel stressed, and worry about how stressed they are. We need to remember that we can still zoom out and take a wider look at things – this is what cognitive reframing is about.Ĭognitive reframing (also called ‘reframing’ or ‘cognitive restructuring’) is a powerful tool you can use to change your negative thought patterns, reduce your fight-or-flight response, decrease unnecessary stress, and help you feel more in control of your life. Often, these changes happen slowly over several months, so it’s hard to notice that your perspective has been distorted at all.
When a guy is depressed, it’s as if the lens he’s viewing life through has been zooming in and changing focus until it shows a very small and distorted picture of reality. focusing on the background will result in very different images, even though you’re standing in the same place. Imagine taking a photo – focusing on the foreground vs. Usually, the situation isn’t as bad as it seems. Negative thought patterns cause a lot of stress, and you might not even realize you have them if you’re already dealing with depression. It’s easy to feel alone and misunderstood when you’re bogged down in negative thoughts.
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